My best friends and roommates from college have a saying that we have coined throughout the past four years of relationship drama. Whenever we do something embarrassing or crazy, right after we say "reason 4593 why I'm still single." The number changes aka gets more dramatic every time. I bring this up because on a Friday night at 10:42, I was on Facebook having a wall post chat with my old college roommates. When we got to the 150th comment mark, like clock work, one of us said "reason 33252 why we are still single." Then, another one repsonded, "so what's the number one reason why we are still single..we always talk about all the reasons but what are the top 10??" I'm pretty sure this what a rhetorical question, but it got me thinking. What are the top 10 reasons I am still single? Do I even want to go there and point out my flaws? And could I even accurately self evaluate the reasons? Well, there's no way in hell I'm asking any of me ex boyfriends, so self assessment it is.
Top 10 reasons why I THINK I am single...
10. I'm not pushy enough. I don't really NEED a relationship; I just want one really bad. Therefore, I'm not very pushy about meeting someone and then making it official. I've never been one of those people that can jump in and out of relationships. I really don't like to rush it. I also could be classified as the opposite of pushy, a pushover. I give into what guys want a lot of the times so they don't think that I need or want a relationship. Sucks to be a people pleaser.
9. I just graduated college and college was my time. Even though I had boyfriend through part of my college career, he wasn't involved much i my "college life." College was the time I could focus on me, find my interests and passions and that's just what I did. I only graduated 6 months ago and still find myself stuck in that mode sometimes.
8 The "makes me sick" syndrome. Did you ever get the feeling in the pit of your stomach when you just KNOW you aren't going to like someone?? That feeling happens to me more than normal. I'd say 80 percet of the guys that pursue me end up "making me sick."
7. This goes along with number nine, but at 22, I can be pretty selfish. I'm wrapped up in my dreams, goals, and career. In my free time, I want to hang out with my friends and family. I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice that or compromise as much as I should for a relationship right now.
6. Immaturity. T and I are known to be on the "slightly" obnoxious side sometimes. We nickname people after animals and laugh like we are five years old. We also do the dumbest shit. For example, over the summer we made videos to us dancing to Russel Brand's song "inside of you." We even do the "save the last dance" dance moves at the bar sometimes. We think we are funny...other people.....not so much.
5. I really am busy. I'm a Grad Student, a Grad Assistant, a volunteer for fraternities and sororities, teach a class, and try to manage a social life in a new city. It's really hard to manage my time. Sometimes I can't imagine throwing a full time boyfriend into that mix.
4, Picky bitch. Like I said in a previous blog, I am a picky bitch. He is too tall but that guy is too short. And why does he make that face when he is in deep thought? Ew did you see his mouth? He has a picture with a girl from four years ago... He cheated on his last girlfriend, does that mean hes a cheater?? I find ANYTHING I can wrong with a guy so that I don't have to give him a chance. This leads into number 3 and 2.
3. Over-analytical: As I'm sure you can probably tell, I over-analyze EVERYTHING. I drive myself crazy and drive myself away from relationships. I have a terrible time just letting things happen and sometimes can end up forcing it, which can ruin the chance of a relationship even starting.
2. Fear. I am downright petrified of having a relationship right now. Why? Because I am 22. I know, I know! That's so young! Bullshit!! I don't want to have another crazy heartbreak a 22. I want the next guy I date to have pretty great potential of being the one. All this pressure I have put on myself makes me really scared to actually put myself out there though. We have all been burned and the fear of getting burned again can make us miss out on some really great things.
1. I haven't found the right person yet. Although most of these reasons are centered around me, I'm making my number one reason about outside circumstances. As Michael Buble puts it, "I just haven't met you yet." I am confident that when I find the right person, all of these things will fall into place. I won't have to over-analyze everything (as much) because I will be confident in their feelings for me. They won't make me sick and I will be willing to dedicate time to them and share my life with them. There is always room to improve yourself, but the right one will make me want to improve those things for the right reasons!
So there you have it. The top 10 reasons I am single staring me in the face. It feels kind of good to get them out it in the open though. I think that self awareness is important in dating and also in life. If you can't point out the things you want to change in your life or the reasons why the way things are, how will you ever be able to make a positive change.
Keepin it posi,
C
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