Dinner Date....for 1?

Terrifying situation.

As a recently single neurotic girl in my early 20's, I have no idea what it means when my ex-boyfriend of one week asked me to go to dinner tonight to have a "mature discussion."  WTF? 

My last one year relationship with "K" has been nothing less than a train wreck these past few months.  I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert.  He's happy staying home for a week straight, I can't stand being in my room for ten minutes.  He's laid back, I'm crazy.  He's oil, I'm water...you get it.   He broke up with me after a huge fight that broke out in NYC last weekend. That is a whole other blog.

But I love him and this past week has consisted of many unhealthy things for me; i went through a phase of starving myself and sleeping 13 hours a day.  After that was over, I meditated and ate chocolate like it was my new diet plan.  In between all of these things, I made a playlist of the most depressing break-up songs and cried to them for fun. 

I'm not ready to have this discussion.  I can imagine myself in this situation: YOU broke up with ME, you crazy douche bag! How could you do this to me?!?  It's so hard to be alone at the holidays!  I'M FINE WITHOUT YOU!...when in reality, I'm not okay, and he would slam the door in my face forever.  Game plan:  shut up, Tiff. Listen to what crazy thing he has to say to you, and whatever you do, don't say ANYTHING without texting one of your friends first to see if it's okay. 

How can  discuss things with him when I don't even know what I want myself?

Coffee or a xanax?  3 hours to decide.

T