There it was- right in front of me. A hard, pale version of what I had never expected to be my first glimpse of a male penis. This wasn't just any male genitalia in swinging by my front door. This was Naked Nick.
Naked Nick was my neighbor during my schools years. We would often taunt him on and off of the school bus and online when we were bored. One lonely dark night, main bests C, R and I were IMing him (the only cool early 2000 thing to do) daring him to come over. He said that he would only come over naked. Maybe it was the boredom, maybe it was the chocolate we had been eating for hours, or maybe it was the sick little part of me that thought this idea was hilarious.
sgcheersweete16: Okay, Nick. Come over naked. We will be waiting by the front door.
sign off.
These next few moments were complete choas inscribed so far in my brain that I will die to the image of Naked Nick's firey red bush as Rachel swung open my front door. There, in a creepy amount of lighting from my porch lamp, was Nick in all of his swinging glory. It's like a slow moving car crash; you don't want to look, but you sure as hell won't look away.
After what had seemed like moments (probably only a few seconds), my 8 year old brother came screaming from the kitchen holding a miniature butter knife as a threat. Naked Nick and his glory were off.
Thank God I'm old enough to know that what I had seen back then isn't the usual. Any time a man is willing to come to yout parents house with his wang out, you know he has serious issues. Luckily, I've moved and have only had to see N.N. at a few awkward occasions.
Do you remember your first penis experience? We sure hope yours was a little classier than what we made ours out to be. Sorry, Nick.
T
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