Got a call from my ex today for closure, and it only made me feel worse. No one wants to hear the truth. I made him miserable, he doesn't care, I pushed him away. What sucks about all of this is that I didn't even try it.
I guess I never really felt fully appreciated in my relationship; this was made clear when my ex told me that he wasn't ready for the next step that I'm ready for. What sucks about that is that about 6 months ago he was- I don't know if those were just words, or something else. When I didn't feel appreciated, I fought back. I'm not innocent, but I tried. I wanted more love and affection and in return got the opposite.
After the phone call, my ex told me to stop caring. Harsh, but true. I'm a stable person- new career, financially on my own for years, and I've handled way more than most people my age have had to deal with. I'm strong, and yet, I can't let go of a relationship.
When someone you put so much love and trust into rejects and hurts you, it really makes you look at life differently. I'm impacted so much by the things that we said today, and I don't think that I'll be in another realtionship any time soon.
Sometimes in life, you need to make a list of the positives, and that is what needs to be focused on:
1. The BEST friends anyone could have.
2. A family who is there for me no matter what happens.
3. An awesome new job!
4. Cute new clothes for a new job
5. A future that will be better than my past
Despite this list, I know that I will miss him and want things to work out between us because that's who I am. I made a relationship blog, so obviously I put a lot into them. For now, one day at a time :)
Lesson learned: if someone cares about you, they will be with you, they will listen to you, and they will say only things that make you feel good (this goes both ways)!
T
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