Red Flag Prevention Theory

I want to write a book about red flags when it comes to dating. I've seen so many of them....and IGNORED them...that I could probably write 15 books.

Here are some examples...Ahem:


1. Emotionally cheating on his girlfriend with me.

My first love was a sweet talker. He knew all the right things to say and I was young & stupid so I naturally fell for it. He sent me cute texts, wrote me sweet notes, told me how much he liked me. Here's the kicker: he had a girlfriend of 2 and a half years. Oh, and he had a square shaped head but that's irrelevant.

Okay, I get that things happen, feeling change, and sometimes you just can't help falling in love with someone else. However, he handled it horribly. He didn't break up with her right away. In fact, I got a text message while they were still dating saying "have a good day. I love you." That text message was not meant for me. It was meant for her.

Red. flag.

Yet, I ignored it. Did he eventually break up with her? Yes. Did we date for awhile and fall madly hopelessly in love? Yes. Did he end up cheating on me 2 years in our relationship? Yes.

I ignored the red flag and the same thing happened to me. Guess you have to learn the hard way sometimes.

2. Big Fat Liars

My most recent ex was a huge liar. I previously wrote about him on here, but incase you missed it...he lied to me about being in school, having a job, smoking weed, doing other drugs, texting girls.

He lied about everything. The first time he lied, it was about something small. Aka. texting his one "girl friend." So naturally, I forgave him. People make mistakes right?

Wrong. The lies kept happening. All huge red flags. Looking back on the 2 and half years we dated, I honestly have no idea what was a lie and what was the truth anymore.

We all tell white lies, but when it's happening more often than not, that's a red flag. You need to run. Right away. Not after 2 and a half years. As fast as you can. Across the country.

3. "I'm not really looking for a serious relationship"

This translates into: I'm looking for a hook up buddy. Maybe you will win him over with your great personality and he will end up putting in a ring on it before you know it. When a guy says those words though, he usually means it. The last guy who said this to me ending up sending me a dick pic after a week of talking to me. He really didn't want to try to get to know me to even have a not serious relationship. If you are going to bitch about no commitment a few weeks in, take what he said seriously. He doesn't want a relationship. Run.

4. When his friends don't even back him up. When I was dating N, I met a lot of his friends. All of his guy friends said...."N is a really great guy.....but" There was always a but. Half the time they were kidding...but now I'm not so sure. The biggest red flag of all was when his friends girlfriend pulled me aside and told me to "be careful" I should have listened. I wasn't careful and ended up getting hurt. When his friends/people around him can't even vouch for him, that's a huge ass red flag.

Those are just a few of the BIG red flags I've experienced. There are other little signs that I ignored throughout the way that all lead up to a big, fat, red flag.

I'd like to think that when I see a red flag now, I will acknowledge it and stop talking the guy. But we all know love is a crazy thing and sometimes you need to learn the hard way.

It would be a hell of a lot easier though if we took these things to heart and got out of a relationship (or relationshit as I like to call them) before we get hurt.


Will the red flag prevention theory ever work?? I'll keep you posted.

C