Guys, I'm really sorry about these past few posts. Real life I have to pretend to be okay, but this is the only place I can vent.
I literally feel these lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV1XWJN3nJo&ob=av3n
Natalie Imbruglia- Torn
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm - he came around like
He was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know - don't seem to care
What your heart is for
No I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where we used to lie
Conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am chained
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm cold and I am shamed and bound
And broken on the floor
And I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what is goin' on
Nothin's right
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
I hate myself for putting allowing this to happen to me over and over again. No one deserves to feel the way I do. I just need to feel it to get over it. Love isn't something that just comes and goes. Putting someone through something to hurt them on purpose is not love, it is spite.
I don't even know what love is anymore. I hate this society for what it does to love. I hate people for how they act, and I hate myself for making mistakes that led me to this position. Hurt is unavoidable, but I can't help but think it should't happen this often.
I'll get through it, it will just be a rough week. Again.
T
Sorry whatever this is has you feeling so bad. One piece of good that may come from it is learning the warning signs so it doesn't happen again. I wrote a blog post a few months ago about getting over ugliness: http://www.thespinsterliciouslife.com/2011/05/dont-worry-be-happy.html. It may not help now, but possibly will in a few weeks. Good luck
ReplyDelete-The Spinsterlicious
I don't know why we do it but we always put ourselves in those bad kind of situations. I think I know what this is about and if I'm right then let me tell you that you deserve something better. You deserve a man that would wait a 100 years to get a chance with you and would never question for second if you were the girl they loved most. I know that not having this right now makes this seem difficult to imagine.
ReplyDeleteI don't have it either but when you find it you WILL know! Good luck girl.
wow, what a great blog! Thank you!....and thanks for that, we always know what we deserve, but somehow sell ourselves short. But you're right & I know it!
ReplyDelete