Hi! I decided to accept T's offer to guest blog from an outside perspective on her situation. My name is B, and I was T's roommate for two years in college.
Yes, it was a crazy time, but I wish we were back there every day. Anyway, T and I keep in touch, often playing phone tag. This weekend I received the call I was half dreading, half expecting to receive: She was really done this time with who I now call, "Asshole." I had seen their relationship begin and end. Every time there was trouble I would try and give my input on the situation, at the same time knowing when you are in the situation it doesn't matter what anyone else says you are going to do what you want and feel is right for you. You see I was in a similar situation to what she is in with my ex. Our roles were swapped, I was trying to defend my bf at the time, while in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't right how he was treating me, and she was being a supportive friend, but also telling me to move on, I deserved better. Now it was my turn.
Asshole was supposedly going to "change," but I think we both knew it was not going to last. You see no matter how much you try your true self will always come out. T realized this over the past few days as Asshole did what he does best....was an asshole. When someone is sick and wants someone to take care of them, if you are a normal and nice person, you do it because you know that they would do the same for you, and have done the same for youin the past...not him. If you are a normal and nice person you treat the person you supposedly love with respect all the time and do not scream and verbally attack them...not him. I could go on and on about the crap he has done, but it is not worth my time, and I hope she has learned he is not worth her time. She deserves better. Someone who is excited to be with the real her and sees how great she is and someone who is always going to be there for her when she needs him. Someone who can actually do grown-up things like manage their own money, go to class so they can graduate college, and know what they are going to do with their life in the real world.
It is going to take some time, and it is going to suck for a while and there may be some tears, but one day she'll realize he hasn't even crossed her mind because she has someone way better in her life. Until then she has many friends who will remind her how better her life is without him.
Love you T!!!!