In my last post I talked a lot about the guy that I met at the horse race that made me sick. I briefly mentioned that he was the male version of myself (personally I think I'm way cooler than him but you get what I mean). The guy walked into the place like he owned it, was confident, and the life of the party....but in a kind of obnoxious way. Don't get me wrong, I like to be the center of attention but don't think that I am on the outlandish, obnoxious spectrum of things.
I am a pretty fun person to be around though if I do say so myself. I like to win people over, be loud, get crazy on the dance floor and will talk to basically anyone who will listen. When I met this guy and started to overanalyze if I like him or not,(I seriously overanalyze everything), I had a realization. All my ex boyfriends, hook ups, have all been pretty opposite of me. They've all been so laid back, very chill, let me have the spotlight kind of boyfriend. My most recent ex was my polar opposite...he was not into the social scene and would pick staying in over going out 7 days of the week if he could.
With that being said, is it better to date your polar opposite or someone who is the opposite sex version of yourself???
Dating your polar opposite:
You balance each other out.
My ex was very logical and always thinking about what made the most sense instead of thinking on impulse. He helped me back up and think about big decisions before I went with my gut.
It keeps it interesting.
It's never a dull moment when dating someone completely different than you. You are always learning new things and thinking of things in new ways.
There's something so mysterious about someone you can't quite figure out. When someone keeps you guessing it makes you want them even more.
It's frustrating as hell
Sometimes you just don't GET each other at all. My ex and I were totally different personality types. He's an introvert..I'm a huge extrovert and love to be around people. We would get so frustrated with each other when something completely normal for one of us would be really uncomfortable for the other one.
In it for the long haul?
When you are TOO polar opposite of the person you are dating, things can get messy when things start to get serious. If you don't have the same viewpoints on the important things, a future may not be in sight. That's why there's a beautiful thing called compromise but it's harder than it sounds.
Dating the other version of you
It's fun when you like the same things as the other person. The guy I dated, N loved to go out on the weekends and was very social. This was awesome for me because I also liked to do those things. It gave us common ground and because we were both interested in spending our time the same way, it was easier for us to spend more time together.
Easier to understand each other
When you have the same personality type as the person you are dating, it makes it easier to see where they are coming from. The same types of things probably annoy them or hurt their feelings if they are very similar to you.
Get out of my spotlight!
For me, if a guy is a male version of myself, it means that he likes attention as well. I want a guy to get up and dance with me but also let me have the spotlight every now and again. I think the same would go for an introverted person. If your significant other doesn't want to go out of their comfort zone it's likely that you won't get out there either. Sometimes we need that extra push.
I kind of hate that phrase..."butting heads" but it's the only phrase I can think of that makes sense. Too much of something can be too much. If you are exactly the same, there is going to be a power struggle.
It looks like these two different relationship dynamics both have their ups and downs.
I'm still searching for that happy medium.
Noah Calhoun....where are you??